What Doesn’t Kill You Makes You…Bitter!

Yup, that’s correct! Something not everyone is willing to admit.  Well, I am. There are a number of incidents I can think about that have made me extremely bitter before I got “stronger.”

Are you serious?

Think about it, it’s most likely happened to you too.  Because, it’s all part of the healing process.  We often shudder at the word bitter.  It has such negative connotations.  But, who’s to say having negative feelings is wrong?

I love how the women who share their stories on Her Grit Magazine are so open and relatable. I’m inspired and learn a lot.  Follow Instagram page @hergritmag and Facebook page Her Grit Magazine to stay up to date with what’s happening. 

When you are betrayed, disappointed, hurt, abused…you’ve every human right to feel anger and resentment. 

But of course you are smart, you already know it’s not wise to stay long in bitter-land.  It’s the fastest way to prolong your pain, and this time, you would be the one responsible for it.

Shift from bitter to better

What I do is admit to myself that I am hurt because I cared a lot.  I feel bitter because I felt love, and it wasn’t my fault the other person(s) didn’t appreciate it.  Sure, I might even feel worthless to go with it. 

Which is why it helps to have support systems around you; loving friends, family, therapist, coach, music, art, prayer, meditation? Whatever gets to you back to your senses and to appreciating yourself again.

You get to where you are going by walking away from where you’ve been.  “Walking away”!  So hard right?

However, it’s neither impossible nor always necessary.  I withdraw for a while, recharge my self-esteem, trust, confidence and all that was damaged after the incident.  You’ll need to weigh the situation, and make reasonable decisions. Again, seek help and guidance if you can’t think clearly.

Most people won’t be saints overnight

Let’s call processes as they are, what doesn’t kill you makes you bitter, before it makes you stronger.  Overcoming the anger and resentment can take anything from a day to 10 years or more.

I never tell people not to cry or “snap out of it” or to not be angry.  I encourage it, because you MUST feel and go through the entire process in order to heal completely. So if you are currently bitter towards a person, situation or even yourself at this point.  Acknowledge it for what it is, merely something you are going through.  Do not dwell, go through it and get help.

Emotional and mental pains are so hard because they’re so easy to hide and pretend everything is okay. 

And if it is necessary, tell the people involved how you feel.  If you are angry say so, hurt , say it, bitter, it doesn’t matter.  As long you let it out, for yourself.

They may not apologize or even acknowledge your pain, you didn’t tell them for that.  You are telling them to let it out of you. It’s all part of taking care of yourself.

Hey, it’s okay to be bitter! If anyone asks, tell them you are in the process of getting stronger.

Have a super week!  Let’s stay connect, Follow me on Instagram @Charmaine.mb  & on Facebook Charmaine Ntokozo Mbatha 

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